vinyls do sound better

as i’m lying on the carpet with my headphones plugged into my turntable it just occurs to me that maybe almost everything is ready. unlike me. i’m not ready for Side D, i have not listened to it in so long. perhaps i will feel liberated when the bells ring. it’s funny because no one is able to ruin him. i have been smart about selectively avoiding some of his songs when i’m seeing someone and even if the only time that album has been the soundtrack of a relationship, i was able to quickly listen to it again. but the closing of side D is such a fucking killer, especially right now. nothing but a reminder of the feeling i’m longing. i want to remember what it feels like it is a miracle to be alive.

there has been a lot in my mind as of late. it is getting more complex to write everything down and give my thoughts and feelings some sort of cohesive storyline. but it is all there, clearer than ever now.

there is a lot i have been wanting to say as of late and i am not saying much at all.

someone is sending me a badge of vinyls and they should get here soon enough. i’m dying to listen to them all and find more about my roots.

i’m already on side D but the first of two songs is ten minutes long so i have to hurry. my roots have been growing stronger than i can remember. they continuously show me how and why i became who i am and what the future may have in store for me. i am not alone, i never have been. warmer winters and brighter sunsets are waiting for me. i have been slowly understanding why those things saved me before and will always be there when i need them to do it again.

there has been a lot in my mind as of late. i guess i’m growing old on magic mountain.